He Makes Me Happy

Ok suck it up people, I'm about to have a sappy moment. If you want to judge me on this then....shew....go away!

I love this boy, I love him with all my heart! He makes me laugh, he makes me happy, and sometimes he can frustrate the hell out of me, but mostly he makes me feel so loved.

Last July I made the decision to let him live with his dad. He has always wanted to, because him and dad have a lot in common. Because life is easier at dads and he doesn't have as many rules or chores to do. How could I let him go? How could I let him live away from me? It wasn't an easy decision....at all.

My baby boy has three very different sides to him. There is the sweet, loving, funny, well mannered, compassionate, caring, enthusiastic, playful, and everything great you can think of. 

Then there is the bad side, the side that is disrespectful, and I mean beyond normal child. He got in trouble, and got bad grades.

There was the side that was physically mean. He'd hurt himself and others.

Since he's been with his dad, got his way, my sweet child has come back out. He got A honor roll the whole school year. He is really happy, and doesn't get in trouble. He started to get in trouble when he first went to his dads. His dad realized really fast that I wasn't just being mean, and he put a stop to it. Letting him go was so hard, but it's made him happy. He loves being with his dad. I don't know if it's because he didn't see his dad much before. Barely talked to him. He'd go 2 months sometimes without seeing or hearing from him. Now he has him all the time, and he's happy. It breaks my heart so much that he's happier at his dads, but it makes me happy that he is.

He was with me for the past 10 days, I've missed having him home with me all the time. He went back to his dads so they can go on their vacation, and he can spend some time with his sister while she's with his dad. Then he'll come back for the rest of the summer. Having him home with me, then go back to his dads is killing me. I hate not having him with me. I see him every weekend, so it's not like I don't see him, but weekends go by so fast. It seems like as soon as he gets here, he's going back home. I love having my sweet boy back, seeing him happy, and his hugs again.

Last week, he gave me a big hug and says "Thanks for being the best Mom in the whole world" Melted my heart, made me cry, and then he says "But ya don't have to be a baby about it!" Thanks baby boy....I love you to!

How Old is too Old?

After reading this story on Fox News, it got me thinking.

This is a woman 72 years old, and had an IVF at 70. I understand the want to and yearning to be a mother, but I think 70 is more than pushing the age at which a woman has become too old to become one. Did she really believe that she could care for a baby, would she be able to run and play w/ that kid when it was 5 and 6? Who's responsibility is this?

Now she's 72, dying and this baby is 18 months old. She isn't strong enough to hold her daughter. They are blaming the Dr for not telling them it was a risk to have a baby at her age, saying they are uneducated people. They were educated enough to know about IVF, they were educated enough to pull out loans to have the procedure done, but not educated enough to know it was a health risk? I'm just not buying it. Do I believe the Dr was wrong for doing it? Absolutely, but they can't go blaming him for not telling them it was a health risk. I just can't believe they didn't know that.

So that brings me to the question....how old is too old? At what age should a Dr refuse to do IVF? When should women stop trying to have children?

Monday Minute

1 - What's the specs of the first computer you owned?
Do you really expect me to remember that long ago. The first computer I used was Dos based. That's about as much as I can tell you, because back then, I wasn't all into know about them.

2 - Are you on Twitter/Facebook/etc, if so link it/them up
I am on Twitter, and facebook, but gotta figure out how to get them back on my blog since I went and changed things. Oops.

3 - Who's more to blame for the oil mess in the gulf - BP or the Gov't and why?
I'm not going to point fingers on this one. Blaming one or the other is not going to get this fixed and in the end, saving as many animals and land is all that really matters to me.

4 - What's your favorite Dr. Suess book?
Please please please don't shoot me....but I was never a big fan!

And finally...

5 - What did you want to be when you grew up?
A model, a lawyer, a mom. I achieved one, almost achieved another, didn't even come close to one.

Friday Follow & My Busy Week

It's Friday and that means it's time for the awesome Friday Follow! This week my wonderful "damn clean friend" Heather is featured. So be sure to link up and check out her blog as well!

So it's been a while since I posted, or have been around to blogs. SORRY! This past week has been crazy. Supervisor at work wanting to quit, new rules, new responsibilities, and trying to clean up after several other peoples mess has had me stressed to the max at work. Thanks Heather for being so patient and listening to me whine, bitch, and complain this past week.

So on top of work stress there has been home stress. Hubby and daughter are fighting like a couple of elementary kids, and I swear they are going to be the death of me. 

So I'm back, I'll be around, I'm making it around to blogs....I've missed you all!

Happy Birthday Lexi!

Well she's gone and done it, she's turned 15! This is not what I wanted for her, I wanted for her to remain a little girl forever! My little girl is growing up so fast. I can't believe she's 15 already. It seems like yesterday she was 5 yrs old, clinging to my side and chattering away about what ever. Now she's 15, still clinging to my side (which I LOVE) and chattering away about what ever. This day is such a hard day for me. 12 broke my heart, 13 darn near killed me, 14 I was kind of ok with. But 15, this is tearing me apart. Maybe it's because she is starting high school next year also, maybe it's me realizing that in 3 short years she'll be 18 and that means she's an adult (so to speak). I don't know but this hurts. I've cried, nearly every day for the past week knowing this day was coming. If I'm like this now, what will I be like at 16 and 18? Oh this poor child! Sadly I'm already thinking about her 16th birthday and what can I do to make it a really big one?

Sunday night she had a sleepover with 3 of her friends. That was fun! Yeah, 3 14 year old girls, giggly and loud as can be. OK who am I lying to, I loved every minute listening to their giggles. She hasn't had a boyfriend yet, how am I gonna handle that? Certainly one day she's gonna have one, she's gonna want him to come to the house, and I'm gonna sit the guns on the table, is that fair? Why does my little girl have to grow up?!? Why can't we put them in a little jar and keep them little and safe always?

I lost a lot of pictures when Ivan went through Pensacola and knocked 2 trees through the roof, soaking every picture I had of my kids growing up, but I do have a few that I had scanned, so here we go through the years:

Here she is just a few days old, isn't she just beautiful!

Her first Halloween, she was 4 months old. She was such a happy baby, always smiling and laughing!

 She was almost 2 in this picture, and aside from this being the only picture you will probably ever see of me in a dress, my little girl was beautiful!

 

 She was 3 almost 4 in these pictures. Still smiling as always!

She was 6 years old in this picture, she has such big beautiful eyes!

My little Cinderella, she always wanted to be a witch, but that year I insisted she be something else.

10 years old and as happy as can be!

11 years old and her first day of dance!

This is the day I got married, just before her 13th birthday.

14 years old, and today my baby girl turns 15!

I love you so much Lexi, you have brought a tremendous amount of joy and love to my life!