It's My Dirty Laundry...

So it appears that PC feels that by my posting on my blog I am "airing my dirty laundry to the public". So since I don't like doing laundry I am going to continue to share my dirty laundry with y'all in hopes that you will clean it for me. Please...see I asked nicely!

As the story goes, PC and I have decided that we are going to "hold off" on a divorce right now. I don't like the idea of "holding off" but I guess I'll take what I can get.

The past 6 months have been very hard and very trying for me. The battle for custody of my son, my daughters crazy down spiraling behavior, and problems in my marriage. I have to admit that it has all taken it's toll on me. It's been one constant battle after another and I find myself giving up on people and my life. I'm just tired of struggling, financially, emotionally and personally. Every day feels like a battle.

I find myself falling deeper and deeper into depression. Caring less and less about life. I have failed to take my medication for the bipolar disorder...why....because I don't care anymore. Do I know this doesn't help the depression or the moods...well yes of course I do. But I feel like why should I care.

I feel like there are constant battles over the most trivial things. That people in my life choose to fight and argue over minor issues, and refuse to really see what is there. I was asked the other day is love enough? Well yes, in my book love is enough. Love is built on so many things, trust, communication, understanding, and acceptance. Without those, even just one of those I don't think you can have love. So yes...I believe love is enough. I love everyone in my life. I'd lay down and die for any one of them. I have passion for each of those relationships.

So what do you think? Is love enough?

Life, Work, Family...Balance

Some days I feel like a one woman circus act, and let me tell you I can not juggle! 

I've been at my job for near 15 months, and I'm still trying to figure out how to juggle all the demands of a working mom. I have to make time for everybody, clean the house, cook the dinners, take care of the kiddos, basketball coming up, work, blog (because it's what I like to do) and live. I tried making a schedule for everything. Shopping days, cleaning days, family days...etc. It did not last! I have a hard time sticking to a schedule, well I do for work but I have to for them or they'd fire me. Can my family fire me? 

So I did what I do best...I researched this! Here are some of the tips I found and I am going to start trying.

Get up before your kids do to exercise or have a quiet cup of coffee. (I really need to do this, because a little time in the morning and not having to rush may set a different tone for the entire day)

Give yourself and your kids time to relax and unwind. (This is a must in the evenings)

Talk and email during the workday with spouse. (Hubs and I used to do this...then they blocked my email at work!!!)

Schedule lunch or dinner dates together. (We used to go on a date once a week, and we've stopped. Time to start up again!)

These tips and many great others can be found at ivillage.

I get so caught up in my days and feel so out of touch w/ my family and I need to fix that. So I'm going to try these few tips first and then add more. So do you have any more tips for me? How do you balance it all?