Monday, April 18, 2011

It's My Dirty Laundry...

So it appears that PC feels that by my posting on my blog I am "airing my dirty laundry to the public". So since I don't like doing laundry I am going to continue to share my dirty laundry with y'all in hopes that you will clean it for me. Please...see I asked nicely!

As the story goes, PC and I have decided that we are going to "hold off" on a divorce right now. I don't like the idea of "holding off" but I guess I'll take what I can get.

The past 6 months have been very hard and very trying for me. The battle for custody of my son, my daughters crazy down spiraling behavior, and problems in my marriage. I have to admit that it has all taken it's toll on me. It's been one constant battle after another and I find myself giving up on people and my life. I'm just tired of struggling, financially, emotionally and personally. Every day feels like a battle.

I find myself falling deeper and deeper into depression. Caring less and less about life. I have failed to take my medication for the bipolar disorder...why....because I don't care anymore. Do I know this doesn't help the depression or the moods...well yes of course I do. But I feel like why should I care.

I feel like there are constant battles over the most trivial things. That people in my life choose to fight and argue over minor issues, and refuse to really see what is there. I was asked the other day is love enough? Well yes, in my book love is enough. Love is built on so many things, trust, communication, understanding, and acceptance. Without those, even just one of those I don't think you can have love. So yes...I believe love is enough. I love everyone in my life. I'd lay down and die for any one of them. I have passion for each of those relationships.

So what do you think? Is love enough?

12 comments:

  1. I think there are times when love is not enough, but that all depends on each individual situation. I can't tell you if love is enough for your current situation. I certainly hope it is though. As for airing dirty laundry for the public on your blog, I understand that it my upset PC. But it is your blog, your feelings and by posting to your blog,YOU feel better. Blogging is a wonderful outlet and way to vent your frustrations and emotions. It seems to work for you. Hope things get better!

    Hugs,
    Vanessa

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  2. Here, here to what Vanessa said

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  3. im so sorry that you are going through such a rough time. I agree that love is enough but ya know everyones definition of love is different. What you are satisfied with may not be enough for another person you know what I am saying? Either way keep your head up hun, everything will work out sooner or later ((hugs))

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  4. I agree with Vanessa, too...

    I'm sorry you're going through such a difficult time. Unfortunately, we all go through those seasons of change. In the end, we come out stronger, better and wiser. I wish the same for you. {Hugs}

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  5. Yeah, friend, it just depends. I know someone who love isn't enough...it takes so much more and they are struggling so hard. For so long. They're both tired, this I know.
    Take your meds, friend. Please. PLEASE?

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  6. Please take your meds. Everything will seem even worse than what it really is if you don't. :(

    When ever I've been faced with a crappy situation in the past (I've been through divorce).... what's helped me is this. "This too, shall pass." Keep focused. It isn't going to be crappy forever. I can promise you that.

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  7. Whoa. This is deep. Sorry to hear what all you are going through :( I suppose love is enough as long as it is being reciprocated?....

    Hope you find the right path.

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  8. Love you doll...I wish I had all the right things to say...and give you the perfect answer.

    Simple answer--love CAN be enough..but it has to be on both ends.

    Always an email away! XO

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  9. Love is not enough. Trust, respect, patience, etc. is also needed. As a Licensed Professional Counselor, I cannot stress the importance of taking your prescribed medication. If you feel the medication in not working, call your doctor. On the right medication, you will feel better, you will cope better...
    Email me anytime if you need someone to talk to.
    I have been through divorce and I know the toll it can take.
    Praying for you!

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  10. I wish I could say Love is enough -- but this past struggling year in my marriage has also shown me love is not enough.

    But... YOU are enough. And you have to get yourself better in order to know you're enough!

    XOXOXOXOXOXO

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  11. I am not sure what the answer to that question is, exactly. But I do believe that love is a very, very powerful emotion. And, combined with faith, a person can do miracles.
    Keep your chin up. I am so sorry for all the bickering but it seems like you are keeping a level head and you point out some good positive points. That is a good sign of healthy healing, even if it feels like you're going through the toughest things.
    Thank you for sharing and, if anything, you give me hope for a better woman I could be some day.

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  12. Love and commitment.... and of course, a sound decision on jumping into the whole marriage thing to begin with. I am really on a commitment kick lately. I need to put some more time into articulating my epiphany on how it is the most critical component to staying in a marriage.... will work on that.

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