Thursday, February 3, 2011

The Untouched Subject

I just realized that I talk about my kids but never really about parenting...and today you are in for a mouth (or finger tip) full of my parenting frustrations.
You see that little girl in the above picture? Isn't she just beautiful? Do NOT let that fool you. That hormonal teenage terror little girl is going to make me gray, wrinkle and go bald by time she's 18. She's had me to the point of calling my dad and begging for his forgiveness for my teenage years. I honestly don't know how they made it through. I'm so ready to throw my hands up in the air and just say I give up but I don't give up that easily. So lets start with a little back history from November:

Lexi talks to me a lot about her friends and what not and what's going on in their lives. Well she comes to me and tells me that her best friend (we are gonna call her Sue for the sake of this post) is going out with this boy (we'll call him Butt Head Bob) and BHB tells Sue she can't talk to Lexi anymore because he doesn't like her. So Lexi is all upset because Sue has stopped talking to her and they've been BFF's for years. I told her that eventually Sue and BHB will break up and the only thing she could do is be there for her friend even though she made a stupid decision...because that's what friends do. Which of course being high school students they broke up. End of story right?? NOPE!

Now we move on to Christmas break. Our home phone rings at 3:00 am and I immediately go into panic mode because certainly if my phone is ringing at that our someone must be seriously injured or worse. So Prince Charming gets up and answers the phone. Some stupid boy dared to call my house at 3:00 am and ask for my daughter...oh we were in a rage. When Prince Charming asks who it is, he tells my husband "it's none of your business." Really kid! So we write the number down and when I get to work, tired from being jerked awake by some idiot, I have someone call the number from their cell phone and find out who it is. It was BHB! I was mad...told her she was not allowed to talk to him, text him or FB him. That boy is disrespectful and not allowed to speak to him on anything that I pay for.

Fast forward to 2 or 3 weeks ago: Prince Charming and I are sitting on the couch enjoying one of our favorite TV shows when the phone rings. We look at the number, don't recognize it and ignore it. They hang up and call right back. I asked Prince Charming to answer the phone because what if it's an emergency. That's the only reason you would call, hang up and call right back right? So he answers the phone and it's BHB who claims he's Lexi's boyfriend. WHAT?!? That can't be possible, she already knows he's an idiot because of how he treated her BFF and I told her no talking to him. Prince Charming goes and grabs the iPod Touch and we start looking through it (did you know you can text on those things?) and sure enough she's been texting him and he's her BF. I'm sure you can picture the steam coming out of my ears right? So I being the smart mom that I am start digging further. I look at our phone records and it seems she's calling him at night after I go to bed. I was speechless...angry...furious! Well she got in trouble, we took away the iPod and TV and forbid her from carrying on with this relationship. 

A few weeks goes by and I have a spy in her school...she informs me that Lexi and BHB are still dating. She's seen them holding hands and kissing (so glad the school offers them the time to do this). I asked her to take a picture and send it to me which she did last Friday. Prince Charming and I sit her down on Sunday and ask her if she's still dating him. She insists that no she isn't. He asks her if we can trust her, she of course says yes. He asks her if she knows what will happen if she is lying, she says yes she will get in trouble. Yet insists that she's telling the truth. That's when I bust her...let her know I know the truth. Ask why she lied and what does she say...."I don't know." I REALLY hate that answer. So we take away everything else...all her makeup, nail polish and radio. This kid literally has only her clothes and books.

Do you think that stops her....NOPE! Now I'm ready to lose it. Really....what is it gonna take?
I talked to a few people at work and ask them, they say "Well the more you tell her not to do it, the more she will. So stop telling her not to do it." REALLY people....she gets to call the shots. I'm just going to ignore the fact that she's disobeying me and just accept it because other wise she will do it more. I don't think so! 

So I ask you...what would you do?

I know I should have made this a 2 part post...this is short compared to my really long post the other day right?
Picture This Thursday
I'm also joining in for the first time withVanessa @ Dilly Dally on Picture This Thursday. She will give us a theme each week to post pictures on. This weeks theme is Winter.
So there you have my pics...go link up with us her!


  1. I love your photos! Especially that first one! Beautiful! Thanks for joining in!! :)

  2. P.S...sorry to hear about all the teenage drama going on! Part of me thinks that your co workers are right, that she is going to do it if you keep pushing her. However, part of me thinks that she is going to do it anyway. I know the guy is a jerk but I say as long as he hasn't hurt her or made her do something she doesn't want (or God forbid talked her into doing something and make it that she did want) little lady is probably not going to learn until she gets her heart broken. And even then it may take a couple of times for her to see. Young "love" is blind. And as much as us parents want our kids to learn from our mistakes, they never do. We never did as teens either right? good luck!

  3. I am so with you on teenage drama and my teen driving me up the wall. He's turning 14 next month and I am at the end of my rope.

    Hang in there. I've been told that eventually their brains return.

  4. I went through those teenage drama years with my two oldest ones, and to confess I gave up on them at one point. They will do what they want to do whether they're punished or not. The only thing I was hoping for is that they could tell what's right and what's wrong.

    So sorry Melissa that there is no perfect text book for us parents to look up for help.

  5. I was pretty sure I would not be looking forward to the teen years and now I'm sure I won't. They don't come with a manual, do they!?!

    Your photos are beautiful! Love that last one! :>

  6. This is SUCH a teenager thing...Don't you remember putting your Mom through hell too? (Maybe it was just me?) LOL

    In any daughter is 14 and I feel every drop of your pain.

    I wouldn't worry about BHB...he'll be old news in no time!

  7. I am totally dreading teenage years with Allison. I am about to lose it with terrible 2's.

  8. mmmm, love that frozen creek photo!

    sorry about the teenage really will pass. :)

  9. Reading this post reminds me of my life my with 14 year old daughter. She is pulling the same stuff and when confronted - we hear the "I don't know" The lies and sneaking have gotten so out of control that her grades have dropped and she has become so moody and hateful... I pulled her out of her school (started 4 days ago) and she is now doing Independent study with an online public charter high school... Same classes as before - same UC college track.. but I can be more watchful and help her save herself... I am hoping that she will be where she needs to be by her junior year... Good luck to you..

    I've Become My Mother

  10. Handcuffs, bungee cord, metal bars and duct tape. That should do it.
    You need me to send some to you?

  11. Just have to say that MiMi has some good ideas! LOL

  12. Oh boy, I'm not looking forward to the teen years at all. I have boys so its hard to foresee what I might be in for. I was a pretty good teenager but I lied alot and was pretty sneaky. love the pictures. At least you have the technology now to prove her wrong when she's lying. Ingenious of you to have the picture taken!

  13. eek! all i know is that my 1 year old is super sassy... I dont' know what will happen when she's a teen!

  14. Awwh. Sorry to hear about the teenage drama.

  15. I have so been there...and done that. 14, 15 and 16 were brutal years with my "baby". Thankfully she is now 20 and survived those years. (Or maybe I'm thankful I survived them).

    One tactic I never had to resort to (but had several friends who did!) was to remove her bedroom door, thereby removing all privacy (obviously she would still have the bathroom for dressing, etc.) until she can be trusted.

    I know I grounded my kid on her 18th birthday. It was well deserved. I felt like crap for grounding her that day, because you only turn 18 once, right? But I had to. The punishment definitely had to fit the crime. She learned her lesson. She still remembers that grounding, two years later...and regrets what she did to earn it.

  16. I'm 26, but the teen years are still somewhat fresh in my mind.
    The worst thing I ever did was get kicked out of a hotel in montreal for having pot on a school trip.
    My parents had to foot the bill for the train ride home for me and two friendsl. The worst part? It was New Year's Eve so the Train only went to Toronto. They had to drive 3 hours to come pick us up.

    I didn't get grounded or anything. But they kept telling me they were so disappointed in my choices. That hurt the most.

    Maybe sit her down and tell her how disappointed you are in her choices with BHB and why.

  17. Oh how I wish I had some sage advice! My oldest is 12 so will be watching to see how you hanle it! I do know the more my parents hated boy, the more I liked him. Maybe invite him over for SuperBowl and scare the crap out of him? lol Good luck my friend.

  18. You already know how I feel about the teenager subject but WOW at the pics girl. Beautiful!

  19. Wow! I am also in uncharted preteen territory. Different topics, but man, I'm not ready for this! I don't know what's right, but I totally agree with her loss of privledges. I recently went on a no priviledge rampage. Even took the door off the hinges! Let's just hope BHB will be old news soon. Even though you dish out the consequences, I would avoid talking trash about him in front of her. That will only fuel her fire.

  20. Oh man, I am terrified of my kids growing up to be teenagers! I have no advice but say good luck with that. I was a terror as a teenager too so I know what you mean about apologizing to your dad. Teenagers are just not rational and teenage love is so intense. Luckily it can pass as quickly as it starts so hopefully she will get over him soon! xo

  21. firstly...I'm following from the hop...'ve scared me to death! My daughters are almost 3 and just turned 1, and though I remember being a teen (though, naturally, out of the 3 girls my mom had I was the good one!) I don't remember not thinking like that..know what I'm saying? shudder...
    um, tie her down and homeschool her? haha! just kidding...

  22. I'm following from the hop. Have you heard of Parenting with Love and Logic? I think you're on the right track, but it might be time to switch schools, talk to her teachers, follow her around ... You cannot overdo your protection of your teenage daughter. And yes, it's okay to lock them in their rooms. I have a deputy sheriff for a friend. If you can't trust her, you have her followed. She has to earn that trust back.

  23. It won't last I hope my 20 year old went through a year of attitude then just snapped out of it..Hope yours does the same!!! Following you from the blog hop~Shari

  24. Hi. I am your newest follower. I am so glad I am done with the teenage scene.
    Please check me out

  25. It's a difficult time but it won't last!

    New GFC follower through Monday Hop. Would love if you visit us at :


  26. I feel your pain!!!!! My daughter is 15 and giving me h...! Why, oh why? I have a 22 and an 18 yr old too, they NEVER gave me any trouble so when this little one came up the lines it threw me for a loop. I'm now following, come on by and follow back. (Shhhhhh, if you're really quite you can see a pic of her on my blog too.) Just don't let her know you peeked or she will Blow Up. LOL

  27. First of all...beautiful pics. Now...the child. Oy. The child. Unfortunately, sounds like me (when I was that age)and every other typical teenager. I don't know what the answer is...except don't stop caring. Parents that care about their child raise good kids. Just make sure she knows about respecting herself and not settling for a jerk...and God forbid...tell her abstaining from sex is the best self-respect. Oy. I don't want to go there either, but seems it is the sexual revolution in my town. Young teen mothers is not cool. Your daughter is still a wonderful child because you are loving parents. I don't know why they turn into terrorists (lol) or how...I think we all go through this stage, right? How did our parents deal?

  28. Good luck with your daughter. Mine isn't old enough to give me these problems yet but my niece is doing this stuff to my sister. It is painful to watch from a distance. I am not looking forward to when it is my turn:(