Some days I feel so lonely! I feel like hubby and I just live together, and this hurts me so much. I don't think (no I know) he just doesn't get it. I say to him "I feel ignored, like you don't want to spend time w/ me" he says "we do everything together." By everything, he means that if and when we go out it's together. But it's silly things that I want, maybe even a little selfish.
My most recent complaints:
We watched a movie together Sunday, I asked him if he'd move to the corner of the couch so we could snuggle. (a little history lesson here...I can't keep my head turned to the side for long, it KILLS me) So he tells me he's to "tired and wants to sit where he's at." Well fine, I moved over to him, but it still wasn't a cuddle. We used to cuddle all the time, but it's stopped recently. That part kills me.
2 months ago I tell him I want to go bowling, he says we don't have time. Again doesn't have time for me. So today I get a text from him saying he's going bowling after he gets off work tomorrow. WTF? You don't have time to go w/ me but your friends ask and you have the time? I just don't get it, w/ me no time. Now, don't get me wrong, he doesn't go hang out w/ people very often. Never really...except when they go to Talledega, so that is not my complaint. It's that when I ask, he doesn't have time, or some lame ass excuse.
Now he says I'm being dramatic, and maybe I am, but this is really how I feel and I want him to say he understands how I feel, and tell me why it is this way. It's not that I don't want him to go, I want to know why he has time for them and not me.
Ok I'm done whining for the night!
I am sorry you are feeling like this. I wish I knew something better to say.
ReplyDeleteI like your look of your blog now. It is bright and cheery
I don't think that any of your wants are silly or selfish. I would miss those things too!
ReplyDeleteIt sounds like you are doing your best to communicate with him and he isn't really hearing you. Depending on how much the situation upsets you, maybe you could try and talk to a counselor about it? I have a couple friends whose relationships have benefitted so much from that. It's not like the problems were that serious...it just really helped to open up the lines of communication.
I really hope that everything gets resolved for you quickly!
It's not selfish. My husband and I go through the same thing from time to time. My husband gets extremely comfortable,and extremely dependent on the schedule. In the past 2 years, he's gone to the movies more with his brother, than me. And that's fine, but every now and again I have to let him know that I am NOT his roomie, and we need to start doing things alone w/each other, and with the kids as well. So, we have 1 day a week for us to cuddle or snuggle or do something and 1 day a week to take the kids out all together. It's at the point right now, where all I have to say is "why don't we ." And he gets the idea. Best thing to do is talk to him or write a letter. When talking didn't work, I wrote it down, gave it to him, then we talked. Words on paper can't be interrupted.
ReplyDeleteI hope it gets better for you. Sorry for the long comment.
I give you credit for talking to him and not just letting it brew. I think we all go through that. Keep communicating with him. Sorry you are feeling so sad.
ReplyDeleteBTW...love the new look.
ReplyDeleteI totally get this post. I know Leo and I go through phases...hoping he plans something romantic soon and surprises you :)
ReplyDeleteOr maybe just cuddles...I know sometimes just cuddling makes me happy again.
xoxo