Sunday, December 20, 2009

I am so confused today!?!? I am so very much in love w/ my husband, he means the world to me and he is my best friend in the whole world. I can't imagine spending my life w/ anyone else, he is my match, my soul mate, my other half. Right now I feel so much love for him that I want to run in the room (he's sleeping has to work tonight) and squeeze him so tight and never ever let go. BUT there is the other part of me who is feeling panic, and sadness, and I want to cry! WELCOME to my life!!! I am bipolar! But days like these I hate, I wish they didn't exist. Why can't I just have one emotion at a time, why can't I just be freakin normal?!?! Me, me, is it I can sit and ask why me, when I have a husband who is loving and supportive (now that he knows and understands and I'm medicated). Poor Scott, who puts up w/ my mood swings, my insane anger to intense happiness, and then the crash and I start bawling like a baby. Most days I am one or the other, or I flip quickly from one to the other, but thank God for Scott's sake he's asleep because I am going through a moment where I feel them all at one time....AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH! I hate it! I want to be one emotion....HAPPY! I'll take content, or somewhere in the middle, but please oh please Mr B stop flipping through my emotions so you can see how long it is until I lose my effin marbles!

1 comment:

  1. Oooh, that is a tough one. I am an emotional psycho-bitch and I am such a mess around the people I love certain days, too. I have been saying for years that I should go get that checked on, but my insurance won't cover it, so I haven't, but I can sort of relate to that mood swing thing, maybe on a little different level, but maybe not.